The Green Bandersnunk

The Green Bandersnunk is native to the Trehanshure region of Southern Negatastan. It is a ferocious predator, and spends most of it’s time hunting the Wizlesnootch.  As far as this reporter can tell, the Bandersnunk has never caught a Wizlesnooch.  Due to the fact that it’s hind legs are little stumps, the Bandersnunk runs incredibly slowly, and even a sloth or an iceberg lettuce can outrun it.  The Bandersnunk  is also rather stupid, as far as animals go, which doesn’t help matters much.  It primarily survives thanks to tourists choose to ignore the “don’t feed the animals” signs and give the Bandersnunk table scraps.

The Slouch-backed Tiger Dragon

Slouch-backed Tiger Dragon actually believes itself to be a real tiger, despite the fact that it is a dragon.  Like all dragons, the Slouch-backed Tiger Dragon has scaly skin, horns, and breaths fire.  But the Slouch-backed Tiger Dragon considers all this evidence as mere coincidences and points to its stripes and sharp claws as proof that it is really a tiger.  The Slouch-backed Tiger Dragon has repeatedly snuck into tiger cages in zoos throughout North America and Europe. This, of course, is a huge problem as real tigers are deathly afraid of dragons. The leading cause of heart attacks among Bengal Tigers is having a Slouch-backed Tiger Dragon sneak into your cage.  Of course, there are also legal ramifications if the Slouch-backed Tiger Lizard is found in a zoo. As most already know, according to the Mythological Creature Protection Act of 1873, it is illegal for a United States zoo to exhibit dragons (as well as unicorns, gorgons, leprechans, and others).

The South Slubian Buffalo 

Similar to it’s North American cousin, the South Slubian Buffalo is a large animal that travels in immense herds.  Unlike it’s North American cousin, the South Slubian Buffalo is blue with a few pink spots on it’s back. It also has three tails, which is two tails more than it’s North American cousin has.  And it has really cool horns, while it’s North American cousin only has short, boring horns.  Basically, the South Slubian Buffalo is a significantly better animal than it’s North American cousin.  So why does the North American Buffalo get to appear on currency (the Buffalo head nickel) and in songs (Oh, give me a home where the Buffalo roam….), not to mention it’s numerous appearances in movies and television (practically any Western ever made) while the South Slubian Buffalo languishes, mostly forgotten, with it’s only claim to fame one lousy blog post (this one)?  It’s unfair to the poor South Slubian Buffalo.

The following blog post was sponsored by the Society for South Slubian Buffalo Awareness.

The Hideous Swamp Monster that Shall Not Be Named

 The less said about the Hideous Swamp Monster that Shall Not Be Named, the better.